How to escape a narcissist

THE FIRST AMENDMENT: Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

In other words: don't ever let ANYONE silence you. SPEAK OUT. YOU HAVE THE RIGHT!

I just gave birth to a little boy about 2 months ago. I couldn't be happier. Aside from the screaming and sleep deprivation, he's pretty much 13/10 goodest heckin' boy. He has lit up my world, and my husband is absolutely enamored with him.

I've been writing blogs since 2016, and I've written about my rape and about abusive relationships that I've been in. Almost every single man that I've been intimate with has had some narcissistic qualities, or has just been 100%  narcissistic. I was a part of a domestic abuse group for a short period of time just to hear what the other members had to say. We all asked ourselves the same question..."are we dating the same man?" It was interesting to hear their stories, but also really really heartbreaking. I realized that I always needed a support group of some kind to get me through rough times. I was in serious recovery...from the narcissists. I'm 30 years old and I'm just now realizing just how badly it wounded me. I thought I was superwoman, hiding my scars. But I'm not. I was hiding my scars somewhere where they could come back out and haunt me later. I don't want my son to see me cry over something that happened to me years ago. I don't want my husband to have to see me hurting anymore. Here are some of the things I've learned and some things I've gone through.

Anyone who has been in an abusive relationship will know that every single man/woman who does this has the same qualities as the next man/woman. I've been thrown into walls, I've been pushed down, I've been yelled at and humiliated in public places without any care in the world. I've been told, to my face, "I'm so sorry I won't every do this again. I swear." Don't EVER fall for that. They will do it again and again and again. I dated a guy once who threatened to kill himself numerous times if I left him. I finally did leave him. It took a lot of courage. I had to acknowledge the elephant in the room. I can't express how alive I felt after that. What a piece of work. Another similarity in these situations is telling you what you can and cannot do/wear/say... It's all the same. You lose your sense of self. You lose your confidence. You become the person that THEY want you to be. You forget who you want to be. You forget where you came from, because they will make you feel like you need to lead a different life away from your friends and your family. You no longer have friends or family... they are your only friend/family. God forbid you look or talk to anyone else but them. It's suffocating. It's scary. It's tiring. It even starts to make you look like shit. You lose sleep. You pretty much lose yourself. The biggest red flag of them all in these situations is "the charmer." They will charm the shit out of you in the beginning. But later on, if you so much as look in the wrong direction, you're gonna get it. It's like fishing: they catch you, they reel you in, they hold on and torture you with the hook, pull the hook out and throw you back in the water (if you're lucky enough) while you're bleeding. Or they decide to keep you and they will gut you out. Another red flag is, when they talk about past relationships, they are always the victim and never did anything wrong. Their exes were the crazy ones. I'll tell you right now... you're going to waste your time fighting a losing battle.

You owe it to yourself to be happy and to find someone who will let you be you. You will know when it's the real deal. I thank God every day for my husband and my son. I love the life I have been living.